Don’t Eat the Menu|Savoring the Indescribable and the Unavoidable.

There are some of you reading about all of this “nobody” business with a bit a trepidation or perhaps some smattering of fatalism. You wonder “If there is no one, then why should I care about anything or any one else, since they don’t exist? I can ignore the homeless, stand aloof from those who suffer, safely knowing that there is no one there.”

Hmm…only a “somebody” or a “me” would think that.

You see, if now, in the throes of believing in a “me” you are the kind of person who alleviates suffering and contributes to the well being of society, then it’s simply not possible for you to be any different.

Because what is being pointed to is not a absence of “me” that once existed. No, there is pointing only to the fact that the “me” has never existed.

All the kindnesses ever offered to assuage the suffering, no one was behind the efforts. Even as you grapple with the dilemma of free will and responsiblity, no one is doing even that.

Just look and see that a thought to help arises and an action follows. And that is all. Simply oneness offering itself a helping hand.

You are before the questions, you are before the answers.

You are before the pain, you are before the pleasure.

You are before the fear, you are before the comfort.

You are before the doubt, you are before the certainty.

You are before thought, before sleeping, before waking.

You are before the body and you are before the mind.

You simply ARE. And every experience, sensation, sight, sound, taste, action arises in the simple awareness that you are. How could you know any of these apparent opposites if you are not aware of their coming and going?

You are before it all.

Don’t believe me. Look for yourself.

I never know when I’ll be posting on this blog. Certainly, there is the thought, “I’ll try to post everyday” or “I’ll post several times a week”. But in reality, I don’t know when it will happen until it happens. Because even the thoughts of doing something happen when they happen and there just isn’t any schedule for any of them. Just like clouds, thoughts form and then dissapate. The only difference is that no one assumes they are in control of the clouds.

You gotta love the mind. It is the ultimate story teller. And no story is more intriguing, more captivating than the story of enlightenment. Especially, for the spiritual seeker.

“Enlightenment”. The word has so many connotations, but many agree that it’s this blissful state where suffering ends and love flows endlessly and freely. The “enlightened one”, clad in flowing robes, effuses the attitude of serenity, is tolerant of all and usually doesn’t eat meat. The “enlightened one” is special and has something you don’t.

Wow. What a load of crap. Or rather, what a load of a story the mind has cooked up from various sources: books, encounters at retreats, the popular culture of movies and head shops.

If what is being pointed to through out the “ages” from myriad “sages” is non-conceptual, then how can any of the above be it. You see, those are all concepts of what “enlightenment” is like. And the word “enlightenment” has as much meaning as the word “turnip” or “friggatriskaidekaphobia”.

The mind is a wonderful tool and it does it’s job quite well, taking past knowledge or experiences projecting them into the future, such as “last time I touched fire, I got burned, now I know what happens if I do it again.” But when it takes acquired knowledge of “enlightenment” and projects that into some future goal to be obtained, then the proverbial tail chasing begins.

As stated before: what is being pointed to is non-conceptual. Words cannot describe it, knowledge cannot secure it. Can it be seen how it is useless to depend on either of them and how they clearly will keep you mucking about instead of investigating by simply looking for yourself?

The mind is the wrong tool for the job when it comes to revealing your true nature. What you are cannot be conceived in the mind, for the mind arises in what you are. YOU ARE before the mind. YOU ARE before any thought. Even “mind” is an idea, a thought. Has anyone ever extracted the mind for all to see and dissect?

Your idea of “enlightenment” is nothing more than an accumulation of knowledge expressing through thought. In fact, the “you” you take youself to be, the one with a name, a job, a personality, that is simply a collection of thoughts as well. Arising now.

Simply put: The search for enlightenment is merely thought chasing thought. A story and nothing more.

Who is writing this?

Who is reading this?

Look.

Accept no answer.

The experience of oneness, of interconnectedness, has it left yet?

Good.

That wasn’t it.

What you are can never be something that arrives, sticks around, then leaves.

What knows of the arrival and the departure? What sees the coming and going of oneness or duality, of laughter or tears, of irritation or peace.

Can that be seen to come and go or is it that that’s doing the seeing? Isn’t it just the SEEING?

I’m doing the blog thing. Or rather, it’s being done. Right now. By no one.

Makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it?

It shouldn’t. Because it is an utter paradox: There is no one, yet there is “me”. There is a real palpable sense that there is a “me” within the confines of this body, looking out through these eyes, pausing with the  thought: “what to write next”. A doer deciding, then acting out.

A quickening of the heart at the idea that the “me” seems so real, yet isn’t supposed to be there. There is the doubt that “I” am getting this. The fear that “I” am fooling “myself”, and a long pause as the mind searches itself for the perfect thing to write, and the thought: “Why is the mind involved in this, isn’t it supposed to entertain itself and not be taken seriously anymore by ‘me’”?

There is the discomfort, the performance anxiety. Will it be revealed that the “me” is still here? Will “others” see the “me” in “me”.

All of these thoughts, emotions, the act of typing arise moment by moment. The idea of a “me” arises with all of it’s life-like features.

But even this – this palpable feeling of a “me” arises for no one.

Ha! Thought it was going to go away, did you? And who would have thought that?